i think my tv is drunk
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize