Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
