I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
