Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
