So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
