my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
