no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
