i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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