I puked a lego.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
