i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
