I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My balls are so social today.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
