My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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