guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
