take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
did i just pee glitter
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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