Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
