im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize