How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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