Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
