oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
They are going to name an STD after you.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
