It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
