Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
