Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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