I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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