those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
