problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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