When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
