You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
