I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
