I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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