in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
