I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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