Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
