Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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