Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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