I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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