just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
