sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
