he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
And then my night got REAL pukey
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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