So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
