Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
