Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
