It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
