Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize