What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
