I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
