he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
