I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Last time i carry you out of a forest
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
