There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i permit you to call me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
