i barfeds in our rink
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
