i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Even my vagina gasped.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
