i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
