I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
