We won't sleep together?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
