I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize