i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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