You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize