i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
