I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize