we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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