I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
