Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
