real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
