I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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